The Girl Who Isn’t Giving It Up
by Collin Down
You know how you tell yourself I’m not going to do this or I’m not going to do that? I did just that. The thing I told myself I wasn’t going to do was “it.” You know the “bow chicka wow wow” it. It’s actually quite simple, I’m going to wait an undisclosed amount of time before I share all my lady loveliness with the man of my choosing. That’s right I’m that girl, the girl who isn’t giving it up.
The Girl Who Isn’t Giving It Up
I didn’t know how serious I was about this declaration until I found myself being tested. It was my third date with a man I’m going to call Boobs McGee. Some behind the scenes deets, he prefers women carrying more than a handful in their over the shoulder boulder holders. Oh, yes he went on and on about it. It was funny but I couldn’t help but quietly size myself up and breathe a sigh of relief. I made the cut!
Advertisement
The setting for what can traditionally be known as the “sex date” took place at his apartment. Perfect setting for the” you know what” to happen, right? I imagine that played into his reasoning considering up until this point he had been a perfect gentleman. Even the most perfect & gentlemenliest of men want to get laid. So we watch a movie, drink some beers and before you know it where there, you know where I’m talking about it. We kissed but the spark it wasn’t there. That feeling that leads to some good ol’ fashion making out it was missing.
I would have been down for some good ol’ fashion fun but he had something else on the brain and I’m not talking about the one on his head. So we hugged it out & called it night much to his chagrin. I was curious to see how things were going to play out. I’ll tell you we texted the next day like normal but then nothing. It was three days before he said anything to me again. It felt like his attempt at leaving the door of possibility ajar. You know the deal; I’ll put in minimal effort just in case the opportunity to bang you presents itself again. Romance at its finest, huh? Not. He can officially change my name in his phone as the girl who isn’t giving it & in the words of Jay Z on to the next one.
At first I let my ego get the best of me. How could he not want me? Well, I didn’t exactly want him. So then I put my big girl panties on and got the hell over it! There are way too many men to meet, to kiss & get my groove on with (eventually). But it did get me thinking, how do you know when it’s right? To interlude in the nude that is. I’ve decided to get some man wisdom on this one. After all they’re the ones trying to sleep with us and the best defense is a good offense. So ladies let’s get it straight from the horse’s mouth. Mike Sheppard is a dating & sex correspondent for AskMen and just so happens to be the author of When to Have Sex. His first nugget wisdom goes like this,
The difficulty of the pursuit is directly correlated to our perception of the romantic potential
Mike avoids sex on the first date. The good news girls is that as men get older they begin to look at us as potential partners and not just boobs and ass. In short they’re keeping their thinking cap on a bit longer before just jumping our bones.
Sex Route #1 –Jumping the Gun
Mike says, there is nothing more potentially disastrous to a good courtship then getting there too quickly. None of that “it felt so right” nonsense! Sex on the first date significantly reduces your chance at a meaningful relationship. Do you know what men like? A challenge. Guess what? We’re going to give them what they want. We’re also showing them that we’re worth it. The wining, the dining and all the effort they have to put in to getting it in. Mike’s second nugget of wisdom goes like this, the regret we feel from bedding a man too soon isn’t guilt it’s genuine concern that something good may have been sabotaged. It’s true, right? So if you like him make him earn seeing that beautiful body in the buff.
Sex Route #2 – The Long Haul
Waiting too long can be the kiss of death. This is one route I’m not well versed in but we’re going to learn together. In the beginning of a budding romance exclusivity isn’t at the forefront of your mind. Holding out on sex for too long keeps the uncertainty of the relationship in a sort of holding pattern & that puts things at risk. Lack of progress in the sex dept. could make a causal encounter much more appealing. Our third nugget of wisdom is this, close the window of uncertainty sooner rather than later.
Sex Route # 3 – The Sweet Spot
In the perfect world this is the route all men would take. We’re giving cues, they pick up on said cues & in turn make the appropriate move. When dating is going well, chemistry builds. It’s all about momentum and with each date it should feel like progression is happening. This is definitely the key for me. In the case of Boobs McGee I didn’t think we had progressed enough to take it to the bedroom. I can’t just jump into bed with you, wait let me rephrase that, I can’t just jump into bed with you if we haven’t progressed accordingly. Can I tell you something funny he said, “I’m not going anywhere” and where is he now? I’ll tell you where he isn’t, pursuing yours truly.
